Dear Me - Diabetes Diary

Dear Me,

Today you were diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. You dont cry but your parents do so just let them know its going to be ok and that you're not going to die. Type 1 diabetes seems strange, you're confused and wonder if you were too fat. You're not just to clarify, you're severely underweight and as you gain the weight back whilst getting healthier do not become weight obsessed. It leads to you having self hatred of your normal sized recovered body. In 6 months time if you keep good control of your blood sugars and learn hard along with your parents you'll be able to have an insulin pump! Actually, you wont know what that is yet so look it up, ooh and look up type 1 diabetes cure trials as well youll come across
something fantastic. (FYI JDRF is not a scam site mum has just never heard of it!)

Dear Me,

Happy first year Diaversary! How does it feel being a Youth Ambassador for JDRF! You've signed up for the Action Day in London right? It will be fab! trust me! and get everyones Facebook name! 

You never know whats going to happen in the future! How quick has that first year gone! And hows the Pump!? Elaine is one of the best diabetes nurses we have so cherish her (she wont be there next year) Also, hows Bob! Nice surprise hey! Cherish him aswell, he brings so much happiness - diabetes was worth it to get him - am i right? ;) By the way I'm so proud of you for going to Club Correze in France without your parents so soon after diagnosis! Diabetes isn't going to get in our way.

Dear Me,

Second Diaversary in the bag! How have we managed to keep us alive for this long! Ahaha I see you've found Type 1 Teens and do you feel so less alone!? Its so weird how everyone has the same symptoms of us isn't it? You know Ellie one of your friends on there - you will meet her in the future! How exciting! 

Dear Me,

I cant believe you are doing this! Organising a fundraising evening at school! I cant believe you are going to stand up infant of the whole of Master House and talk to people about your story and about what Type 1 Diabetes is! Just to warn you'll be asked to give a talk to each house! Over 500 people! EKKK! Invite Chris from JDRF to see the show it will be so good.

Dear Me,

Can you believe we went to Parliament! Told you we’d meet Ellie again! What about everyone else like Laura and Chris!? Its so surreal that we've spoken to them all online constantly for the past couple of months and now we've met them! Wasn't it AMAZING to meet Ed Miliband and Jill! How lovely were they both! I cant believe we spoke to the Leader of the Labour Party about Type 1 Diabetes! This is why we were given it - to do this. It still spurs you on today and I know one day - if you keep going we’ll do something amazing again.

Dear Me,

Happy fifth diaversary! OH MY GOD! HOW FANTASTIC WAS CAMP!! I told you it would be good to get everyones name at the discovery day because who ended up being our roommate?! Only Maya! What were the chances! I cant believe how amazing that experience was and the photos still make us laugh when we feel alone. Can you believe we got to feel normal. (if you could class any of us as normal!) haha! Keep in contact with everyone because Alyssa and Grant become your two best friends and you cant go even a couple of days without speaking to them! Maya, Charlotte, Lucy, Sophie and James are always there for you too and the bond becomes so precious. Its strange to think that within a week people can mean that much to you. 

Dear Me, 

How do I explain this one. Erm so im going to prepare you. This years not being great. A Levels are the bane of your life ahahahahaha. Laugh or you’ll cry. So I know you're a stress head and a worrier. Times during A Levels are not going to be easy, just pull on all the good memories and experiences you've had! - Like the time we had a spontaneous stay overnight in London during our work experience with Ed and we had absolutely nothing with us so we had to dash to Oxford Street the next morning! Or the time on camp when we put the custard creams on top of the cookbook as it was for type 2 and we didn't need that negativity in our life ahaha! Even though its hard because you want to do well you don't actually have to worry - (just write a good Knowledge Factory letter for Hull and be confident in your interview!) So this anxiety effects your diabetes pushing your sugars up and everything piles on top of you. Don't keep everything bottled up and whatever you do don't be so flipping stubborn - listen to Debbie and Anuja! Go and see Sarah (shes really nice - not at all scary!). You don't know what its going to be like and how MUCH it will help. Read and reread your positive quotes because ‘stars cannot shine without darkness’ and ‘its ok to be a glowstick - sometimes we have to break before we shine.’ (pssttt… Use your diabetes as your art project - its good art therapy! haha!)

Dear Me,

Breathe. This too shall pass.

Keep going I believe in you. You’re doing brilliantly. You and Liv become so close again - she's the best don't loose her! Im glad we are both in a separate room together for our exams, we get it and thats brilliant. Remember we ‘may not be there yet, but we are closer than we were yesterday’. Hey! Well done for getting an Unconditional! Woop! Your more than half way through your exams now and I don't think they've gone horrendous…so far! But don't pull an all nighter with Georgia! It wasn't our best idea!

Dear Me,

What have you done today to make you feel proud?! (Ah Miranda Hart) Finished exams!!!!!!! We’ve learnt that we can keep going long after we thought we couldn’t. Sarah has been our rock has she not?! (along with my parents obvs). I love school loads - the teachers, my friends - but not exams! Just to warn you saying goodbyes in clinics is really hard but you are strong. (Practicing that positive self talk here! ahaha) Look forward to Prom and Interrailing because it is going to be fantastic - embrace every moment. Trust me, you’re life is amazing this summer! Interrailing, Cornwall, Volunteering on camp (and your A Levels!… Well ill let you wait to find that out) 

Dear Me, 

Just remember this - the minute you think of giving up, think of the reason you held on so long and by being yourself you put something wonderful into the world that was not there before. Work hard. Dream big and remember I believe in us.

Lots of love,

Your future self xxx