Sitting in the hospital a few months ago Sarah said to me, ‘whats your biggest fear about moving clinics?’. Firstly It was leaving my team who I have been with since I was diagnosed. My team have always been amazing. From diagnosis they have taught me all about my diabetes, giving me constant support with my insulin pump, as well as always been there to listen to my problems and offer a hug when times got hard.
Secondly, I was terrified that my pump might get taken off me. I was told that in adults it was much harder to keep the pump, that really terrified me, my Omnipod (Miranda) allows me to be me and do what I want to do. As a diabetic with a needle phobia injections are my worst nightmare. ‘ You get used to it’ - says the type non-diabetic. Are you also planning on telling me that I can cure my type I diabetes with cinnamon?!
Thirdly, my team knew me as a person not just a Hba1c. Diabetes to me is so much more than having perfect levels because let’s face it nobodies the perfect diabetic and life gets in the way. When my Hba1c would be higher my team would understand that it was due to stress. stress and diabetes do not mix well! It’s so easy for someone who doesn’t know your background to judge you on how high your levels are, and without that background knowledge I wouldn’t be branded the best diabetic. Obviously low numbers are brilliant but so is being positive and doing amazing things with your diabetes. Living my life is why I put up with diabetes in the first place or I may have well just have given up.
A few days before clinic…
A letter came to the door about transition clinic, as well is a letter from adults. My mum, being the adult in the situation rang the hospital to ask what was going on. my old team were looking out for me and asked whether I could go to transition clinic instead, so that I could have some support. I felt more relaxed in the fact that I could ring someone if I had a problem and have a bit more support than Adults however getting to know new team again for only a year made my heart sink. How are you supposed to get to know somebody from five appointments. I felt like I was meeting a new team to trust and get to know them, then getting moved on again.
Clinic day…
I woke up feeling sick. I got dressed into my new outfit because if if you look good you feel good… Apparently. I got a train with my mum and tweeted how I felt towards clinic. I had an overwhelming response of lovely messages from the Doc telling me that 'everybody was going to be lovely', I’m the ‘kick ass backpacker’ and that whatever 'happens you should celebrate with cake'. I was in a fragile state from nerves, it was the unknown, and my anxiety was through the roof. However the Doc helped to reassure me, I find it incredible how people that you have never even met are so supportive and are always there for you. Sitting in the waiting room there was a board asking children how type one diabetes made them feel. The response which caught my eye was;
‘type I diabetes makes me feel like a sausage dog’
Oh my gosh me and my mum laughed so hard at that statement and I had to take a photo to share on Twitter. On the wall there was a wall fame, where people around my age are showing the amazing things they are doing with their diabetes. One person had raised money, another person won an award. My new aim – to put my achievements on that wall.
A lady called Sarah (different Sarah to the Sarah at the beginning! How many of my HCP's can be called Sarah! haha) came and sat with me explaining she was my new nurse and took me through to clinic, she was absolutely lovely but walking in to meet my new consultant I was still absolutely terrified. I sat down in the consulting room and my consultant introduced herself. She said I seemed nervous and that was it, my tears came streaming down my face. Months and months of being worried after loving my team at Doncaster I didn't think any other clinic would be nice. However my consultant, my dietician, and my nurse were all so incredibly lovely and made me feel so welcome. They answered all my questions from my pump, to getting to know me as a person. I walked out of clinic feeling so so happy, that my team weren't going to take my pump away (my biggest fear), and that they were going to support me. Im so glad I chose Leeds and that my mum came with me because even though I do everything myself, sometimes I need to accept that I do need some support.
